A month to remember

I just had a month from hell. I lost about $200,000 in the last month and about $120,000 in the last week.

What kind of idiot is losing that much money in this market? The S&P has been consistently making new highs and all commodity prices are steadily going high.

I am that idiot. This is what I did in the last month -

1. I shorted Euro futures, and Euro has been going up non-stop 10% in a month. I failed accept my loss and expanded my positions. I kept thinking that Euro had no more catalyst marching higher and the next event (ECB rate raise or US inflation data) will reverse the course. Well, we all know what happened, USD index dropped to a multi-year low with Fed's dovish stance in contrast to ECB.

This trade is the largest loss I've ever experienced since I started trading in 1997.

2. I shorted Youku.com, which is the online video portal in China. The company recently went IPO and still losing money. Its valuation is priced at 120 times of 2013 forward P/E at $7B, enormous competitions. All sounds insane to me. Again, I built my shorts and kept adding positions. The stock doubled from $40 to $60 in a month.

I have a 5 months old daughter and 3 year old son at home. Many times, I would stare my account dwindling rapidly and hearing my daughter crying or answering my son's questions about dinosaur, all at the same time.

There were days when market goes wildly against me, my account value would shrink $40K to $50K each days. Just when I think things can't get any worse, tomorrow gets even more disastrous when I wake up and turn on the computer.

When I was waiting for my son outside of his kindergarden yesterday, I felt so sick to my stomach and wanted to pick up a dirt and eat it.

I hope your month has better than mine. Cheers!